What happens in Divorce Mediation?

1. After the initial discussions with the parties to determine if the case is suitable for mediation, the mediator reviews the ground rules and obtains the Agreement to Mediate.
2. The mediator determines what the key issues are that need to be resolved, e.g. parenting time only, property division, spousal or child support, etc.
3. The parties supply all relevant financial information for future sessions and draft short and long term budgets, etc. The more coherent and organized this process is, the easier it is for the parties to develop mutually satisfactory and appropriate solutions that let them put anxiety, fear or anger behind and focus on the future.
4. With this information in hand, the parties and the mediator work together to more clearly define specific issues and begin to develop options to resolve them.
5. The parties then negotiate the differences between the options generated and devise solutions. (The parties should meet in open session for these negotiations; however there will be times when each party will need to meet with the attorney in caucus without the other side. See "caucus" below.)
6. All sessions are followed immediately by memo from the mediator to counsel and the parties summarizing agreements reached in the meeting and with instructions for homework for next session including questions to be reviewed by counsel and additional documents to be produced.
7. As solutions and agreements are reached, a binding Agreement of Understanding, enforceable in court, is reviewed by counsel and parties and signed.

What is the role of attorneys in Divorce Mediation?

1. Attorneys agree to act as consultants to assist their clients in preparation and production of documents, understanding the legal issues and generating options to settlement.
2. The attorneys agree to cooperate in the mediation process and not to obstruct it.
3. They review the proposed agreements to ensure the language accurately reflects the parties intent.
4. They prepare the final agreements and documents necessary for Court.
5. They suspend all pending litigation.

Are there attorneys in this area willing to act as consultants?

See our Resources page for a list of attorneys in this area willing to act as consultants.

What issues are typically discussed in Pre-Judgment Divorce Mediation?

1. Short Term arrangements for custody, support, bill paying, etc.
2. Property division
3. Spousal support
4. Child custody and parenting time
5. Child support
6. Insurance issues: healthcare and life
7. Retirement benefits
8. Medical expenses
9. Tax allocation
10. Other issues the parties believe necessary for the long term

What are some of the key things I need to keep in mind when I start Divorce Mediation?

Focus on the future - you can't undo the past.

• Take care of yourself.
• See a counselor or minister or therapist just to talk.
• Get support from your family and friends.
• Sit down and go over your financial picture, short and long term.
• Make a list of options for yourself and children.
• Decide when and how to tell the children.

Check out this web site: www.Divorceinfo.com This site has a lot of helpful ideas for coping with divorce and the changes it will bring to your life.

What does Mediation cost and how long does it take?

An Early Stage Divorce Mediation normally takes between three and six sessions of 1.5 hours to 3 hours and is based on an hourly rate plus up to 3 hours of outside time to prepare the memorandum of understanding. The actual length depends on the complexity of the issues involved and the ability and willingness of the parties to reach compromises.

Assuming an average of two hours per session and an average of 4 sessions, the cost for a party would be $600 plus cost to prepare the Memorandum of Understanding and any consultations with counsel required by the parties. However, parties are urged to compare these costs and time frames with the cost and time frame of a contested divorce and the uncertainly of the outcome.

What are the Rules of Mediation?

1. Mediation is completely voluntary. Any party can quit at any time.
2. It is confidential. No information obtained can be used in court, nor can the mediator be called as a witness or be forced to disclose any notes or documents from the process.
3. It is private.
4. The mediator is impartial and neutral.
5. The parties must negotiate in good faith. If the mediator determines that actions of a party are preventing a good faith negotiation, then he can call an end to the mediation and the parties will have to pursue their divorce in court.
6. The mediator provides each party the continued opportunity to identify and express his/her needs, interests and options for resolution.
7. No party is permitted to interrupt the other when they are speaking.
8. No rude or obscene language is permitted.
9. There must be full disclosure of financial data and other relevant information.
10. The parties negotiate their own agreements.
11. The mediator does not act as legal advisor or provide legal advice.
12. If agreement is reached and signed, it is enforceable in court.

What is the role of the Mediator?

1. is neutral and does not decide who is right or wrong or take sides.
2. helps both sides communicate more effectively and clarify issues.
3. encourages each person to listen and hear the other side.
4. educates parties about successful negotiating techniques.
5. creates an environment that fosters productive negotiation.
6. explores the underlying needs and interests of both parties to help create options for resolution.
7. helps generate additional information, options and ideas.
8. provides reality tests to check the reasonableness of demands.
9. protects the mediation process from abuse by a party who seeks to harass or intimidate, rather than negotiate.
10. meets or discusses issues with parties' attorneys.
11. helps both parties find a mutually beneficial solution.
12. prepares session memos and the memorandum of understanding.

What is a Mediation "caucus"?

"Caucus" is just a fancy word for a separate and private meeting between the mediator and one of the parties. In business mediation, the tradition is to keep the parties and their attorneys in separate rooms with the mediator shuttling between the parties to pass the latest proposals back and forth. The parties rarely meet in open session until a final agreement is nearly complete.

In divorce mediation, the parties meet jointly for most of the sessions and break out into caucus when an impasse has been reached. In the caucus, the mediator and the party discuss the strengths and weaknesses of a taken position on an issue, and the party may share information or needs he/she is not prepared to discuss in joint session. A caucus session is confidential and nothing said in it may be shared with the other side without express permission. The mediator will almost always have private sessions (caucus) with both parties, rather than have the appearance of favoritism by caucusing with only one party.

What do Mediators want from the Parties?

1. Preparation
2. A willingness to discuss their wants and needs beyond positions
3. Openness to consider and offer options to make progress
4. Willingness to consult with attorneys to understand their legal rights and obligations
5. Good faith bargaining
6. Prompt payment

What if I have been forced into Mediation by a court?

• Make the most of it!
• You have nothing to lose and a great deal more to gain than by going to court.
• You might even find it will give you a satisfactory solution faster and at less cost.

If we reach an agreement and sign it, is it legally binding?